I didn't want to feel pleasure after doing something inappropriate, like that's "the way," that I'm shit. I don't get it, still. I must be in the wrong position.
People believe we do things in our subconscious, which is our sole task to undertake, understand, and adjust.
Why do some people like to avoid saying some things in proper ways?
I feel people are trashing me, whereas before things were considered important. It's my responsibility what ticks or clicks in my subconscious.