Monday, July 19, 2021

"Out of It"

I've been tired, recovering, up late.  I did finally clean my room and set up my violin, but I'm trying to get out of here.  If I did get in a movie, I wonder if I'd lose time to play the violin, too.  I'm hoping for money because my parents died and for my dad being a veteran etc.  I've felt really bad, like there may be no end, sad people are getting older, including Late Baby Boomers.  It's like life passed me by tired on pills I want to get off.  I wonder if I will even go out today, said I wanted to look for another group home but not sure I can afford to get out of this state, unless the government helped.  I can only imagine I'm tired because I didn't all asleep until 2:30 A.M.  I wonder if things will change soon or if I just need a more peaceful area and some people to talk to who are more "cool" with things.  I've been around Black people in East Cleveland a lot.  I would feel better, if I go out after lunch, hopefully go to the gym.  I'm feeling better than usual, glad the past is over and taken care of.  I do feel distracted by the people monitoring me in private talking to me how the page loads on my computer and with little ticking noises etc. in my room.  I guess the people in the Cleveland area are more helpful in some ways than Orlando, but they're depressing about Baby Boomers getting older.

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