Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Feeling Worse Than Before

I just applied to work at 2 stores, maybe as a cashier.  I had to go the store page to do it, not just use Indeed.  I'm tired, it's 8:00 P.M. and I need my rest.  I feel I've lost hope, I think.  I feel like people are picking at me.  I feel a little better now.  I didn't get much encouragement about my insurance job I'm studying for that earns a lot, maybe $130,000/year.  I really wanted to do something like classical music where you need a degree or skill.  I wish I could have done this earlier, like I wanted.  I switched from piano to violin with a gap in between where I sang, hopelessly lost my voice from not talking much for 2-3 years, in my room posting online.  It's not very fun living in a group home, who'd want to?  It's not like I have a whole apartment to myself, too.  This sales job sounds like security if I do succeed.  ...  I am lucky to have my own room here.  I don't like the food a lot.  I feel stressed around people in this area, which is African American.  There's no shower, though I may be able to buy one had I money.  Etc.  The jobs are partially to pay to get licensed to sell.  I may not be able to squeeze it in and do not even get Food Stamps, anymore, because I get meals here.

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