I feel like I'm retired in assisted living.
Friday, February 26, 2021
Thursday, February 25, 2021
People just want to challenge people like me, who have problems being accepted racially and who don't like it or something, that being nice to other races isn't enough. However, full "White" people or Caucasians/Europeans don't have to do anything to gain acceptance from other races.
Wednesday, February 24, 2021
Before the internet was common a bit but still modern times, how exciting it must have been! Like the ballet! What happened to everyone? "sex?"
Tuesday, February 23, 2021
Monday, February 22, 2021
Sunday, February 21, 2021
It's sad you have to be a pro to say anything with music, when it's just for fun and can even be a pain for some people, in different ways (not liking music or it being hard to understand/play.) Then, why is it about strangely expressionless toddlers and technical virtuoso Asians?
I cleaned almost everything I have, this time getting rid of almost everything it seems because I might be moving to a group home.
I saved my violins, my flute, my piccolo, my music books, my German learning books, and some classical CDs I like.
I threw out my hair accessories except the black ones like pony tail holders and pins. I even threw out the children's dresses I got, figure they're just in the way. I may do a sweep of my clothes and get some more appropriate ones, like $6 long sleeve shirts at Rainbow. My dad had been saying I need to get rid of clothes. There's always the idea I get polo shirts and sweaters. I have 10 black pants, well one went missing when my aunt went to hem a few. I have like 8 or 9 nice jeans. I have a few non-uniform-ish things, too. I'm just so happy I finally did it. I can compress a bit more, too. Now, most of what I use is in 2 boxes, one for what I use and one for things I store like documents, which aren't many. I bought a bunch of stuff with the stimulus check in the end, and I seem to have returned or gotten rid of most of it, including the children's dresses, also coffee making things. I already got rid of my DVDs and CDs the other day. I have some books with passwords, too, these past 12 years online, some already unfortunately recklessly thrown out. I got rid of a bunch of things I use like for hair and junk from makeup. I sadly got rid of beaucoup art papers to draw or paint on. I can't see that baggage coming with me. I draw on typing paper and have colored pencils, though. I also have I think like 100 colored sparkly gel pens in a nice case I got. I only have minimal things otherwise. Some of this process was very nostalgic. I even took apart a huge DIY shelf. My room feels empty and meditative, good feng shui.
So, mainly, I have musical instruments, music books, learning German books, and a few favorite classical CDs.
I've got a MacBook Air and Chromebook, too. I might get rid of more furniture and like I said redo my wardrobe. I was gonna wear children's dresses, but it's too much of a waste. I mean, normally, I wouldn't wear them, possibly. I need more appropriate clothes. Maybe, I'll do some window shopping online now and post online. Looks like a good day's work and maybe time for supper. I do have my old hamster who may die. I ordered a more compact cage that never came in, too.
I get about $780+/month. I plan to save as much as possible and concentrate on good food as a diabetic, too. I have no car now, so if I want to eat out might take the buses or order it. My goal is to get off the diabetes and cholesterol pills. I have some vibrating, pulsing, trembling, and shaking from a dislocated ankle/foot, and it affected more of my body. It was from driving, when I flex my foot awkwardly on the break pedal. I haven't driven much for over 15 years. I started again this past year and got ot being comfortable on I4. This month, $100 went to fixing my messed up hair, dying and cutting. I don't know where the rest went. It seems some better prospects for this month. I can't wait until I'm totally done cleaning, hopefully soon. I may have more time and focus without cleaning in the way, may even get a job. I'm also still trying to get better at violin, even if just for myself. I would love to be a pro musician. I even majored in music but had to quit... I did feel temptations as better prospects of becoming an actress first or singer. I figured I could even get private ballet training with the money or learn organ again. I get confused with what's better for someone like me, piano or violin. I did piano first, though. Well, I got to start singing when I was 5 by myself. A lot of people never get to play music/piano like they want.. I guess piano is a private pleasure, strangely, just not always that symphonic! I did get rid of my keyboard, which came broken and was cheap, anyway.
Saturday, February 20, 2021
MySpace and Facebook didn't seem to exist until after I started college.
(I wish I got a BlogSpot. I could have at 13. The internet became popular when I was 11. I may not have even heard of it until high school. I got on MySpace and Facebook late, when I was 21 in 2007. I got on Blogger at age 23, year 2009.)
Still, life was nice at the start of the internet being popular but grew to become quite shallow! I e-mailed and did the free greeting cards online and everything early on. Just too bad my friends barely IM'd or anything and I moved away.
(My life could still be worth something?)
High school would have been a good time for something like Facebook. Hopefully, something like MySpace will develop or Facebook will be more flexible technologically/aesthetically. It's nice our forefathers/parents left us with the internet, but life is more to be lived starting when you're in puberty. (I got this idea watching a TV show.) Things were indeed exciting around 2009, though, 2008... Long ago, things and possibilities were left open.
Friday, February 19, 2021
Saturday, February 13, 2021
Friday, February 12, 2021
Thursday, February 11, 2021
I found a deal at a gym that ends tonight, online, and I joined. It is $10/month but doesn't have big group classes. I wanted the treadmill, elliptical, etc., think this will be the answer to the rest of my problems or some. I've been using floor workout videos on Amazon Prime, which is only $13/month. Before that, I've done a lot of slow jogging and taking longs walks listening to music.
I remember how festive it was when, where I lived age 12-20, they had The Wizard of Oz one year as a production performed at a local community theater. I think Hollywood will play it down and look cool, but it was a great event where I lived. It got me into things like dance (ballet) and accompanying musicals more.
I got to audition for Dorothy, but I didn't make anything. I was most jealous of the female jitterbug dancer. I had wanted to take dancing for health as well, but my mom kept me in piano, where I couldn't practice when I had so much busywork from school. I used to watch Cats (1981/1998) on weekends at night when everyone was asleep, a time I was usually up doing homework or later. It made me want to dance or go back to ballet. I wanted to do ballet before, but they didn't have it where I lived. I did get to do it some and minor in it in college.
Actually, I tried to play for it, but it was too hard. I've played one line parts on the keyboard for musicals, though, in high school. My Talented Music teacher even had me play songs I knew from lessons for a senior play when I was in my 3rd year of high school, senior year being the 4th and final year of high school, here in the US. So, then, I got to play the main part on keyboard. Actually, I played the tuba part for band in 8th grade. The teacher actually sought me out, when I thought there was no opportunity. He also said I was too good for him to teach piano to, maybe my technical skills were good somehow or I practiced hard enough as a beginner. By the time I was 15, I think I told my grandma when we visited Up North that I wanted to do music and English, and the music would be on piano. I did projects in school related to this desire, as well, since I was age 7 years old.
Wednesday, February 10, 2021
...about being in a famous movie someday? I have with multiple movies. I was just wondering why there weren't so many English Disney movies, other than the fame with Mary Poppins (1964.) Anyway, I'm a non-English American, but I wonder if they will ever make a popular version of Camelot. I wouldn't want to be in it because I'm not English. I don't know, but I like Logan's Run (1976,) though I'm not all white American.
Well/So, when life gives a rash upgrade, you experience a major downgrade/downer, subsequently.
It's like, when you ask a smart question, you get a stupid answer.
They are remaking The Wizard of Oz (1939,) they recently announced, like in the past 24 hours at least some. Someone found out and posted it on film|boards.
So far, the director is excited, but people online, like on Twitter, are, as usual, not happy because it ruins the original. People are always at the top making this complaint of any remake, probably especially big ones, like Alice in Wonderland (2010) or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005.)
Who knows what afterthoughts will come up, maybe one something like when the internet became more widely available and Americans mainly functioned using the browser America Online, or "AOL." It seemed like a huge deal to non-Americans, probably because it was so fancy or it limited them in communication in general, using the English American language as a common factor for more people and its subsequent, resulting opportunity.
Not that I would make it here, but I am about to try to make it in Hollywood for money and because I had to give up music for awhile and this was my following dream. My mom died in 2018 from cancer and my dad is dying this year. I have no way of supporting myself that makes sense.